To drip, or to drown, that is the question. Here at the Interlake inquirer, we’ve noticed some notable people whose style is absolutely admirable. On the other hand, we’ve also noticed that some need a lot of help to nail their fashion, as they’re currently drowning in bad style. We’ve decided to use the voice that we must call out and give admiration to those with impeccable drip and attempt to help those who struggle with their ultimately catastrophic attempts at having respectable drip.

A fine example of a drippy gentleman:

Mr. Allen, a teacher here at Interlake, is hands down the most fashionable teacher at our school. Pairing brown and blue is the best color combination since Batman’s black and yellow. His corduroy pants complimenting his charming, yet elegant button up displays his boldness and demonstrates Mr. Allen’s fierce and risk-taking personality. The staff badge acts as the perfect accessory to complete the fit as the green contrasts perfectly with the brown slacks and the green and blue combination demonstrates Mr. Allen’s roaring Seahawks pride. We hope Mr. Allen never gives up on formulating such fantastical fits. There is truly nobody better.

Drowning scumdog:

We don’t like this scrawny rat dog. This canine catastrophe is a step in the wrong direction for dog fashion. Even the disgusting pillow dog behind him is cuter. This dog does NOT understand color matching. Red and blue? Who does he think he is? I’ll tell you who he isn’t, a fashionista. He looks like he’s crying because his outfit is so ugly. Why is he so short? He’s shorter than the couch. At the Interlake Inquirer we stand by short kings, but this is just embarrassing. I bet there was a whole raging party going on while this photo was taken but we just can’t see it because NOBODY wanted to get within six feet of this little Dobby looking flea. He probably has no friends and no job. He should pick his lazy butt off the couch and get a job so he can afford some real clothes. Maybe he should embrace his wolf mentality and stop being such a cold little idiot. Maybe then he wouldn’t have to wear any clothes at all. Anything’s an improvement from this.